C-Heads Magazine Goose Summer Exclusive with Photographer Gemma Totten

C-Heads Magazine Goose Summer Exclusive with Photographer Gemma Totten


I am so pleased and excited to share our exclusive in C-Heads Magazine


There is something tender about these photos for me. Not quite a longing, but a letting go. Which instantly reminds me of the man in Laguna who we met, the timing uncanny, almost Truman-Show-esque, in the parking lot after we wrapped up this shoot, and asked us about the brand. When I said it was actually my brand he took a breath, and with a sense of divine clarity said, “You’re on a rocket ship and it’s only going up. Enjoy this moment. It will never be the same again. This, if I can say this as a man, will be the closest you’ll feel to being pregnant. (I know this is probably not true and having a baby is wildly different, but keeping this in for the sake of being true and accurate to the story). Enjoy this moment! Cry if you need to. Laugh. Enjoy it all.” 



After a few days of rain and gloom, suddenly there was sun. I met photographer,  Gemma Totten, along with our fantastic models, Adai Wakeman, Colette Mcdermott,  Devynne Diaz, and Kandia Nzinga at Gemma’s perfect beach cottage in Laguna on what felt like a perfect spring morning on a Sunday in January in Southern California. We all piled in my station wagon and made the journey to a secret beach to shoot my new product, the Forget-Me-Not  silk indigo dyed undies in shade- Delphinium along with silk plant dyed hair accessories and wool bonnets. The shoot fell into place like a dance, or like rolling snake-eyes in backgammon, or like how I imagine it might feel if I threw a bunch of ingredients up into the air, and upon falling down, magically, dinner was set. 

Frolicking on the hillside, adjacent to the beach, the women laughed and asked questions of each other, in-between posing, bellies pressed against the grass and wild yellow wood sorrel that sprouted up from all the rain. 


On the one hand, my instinct was to catalog this kismet experience, treasure it like a lucky coin. But on the other hand, I was terrified. How the hell was I supposed to launch this so-called rocket ship that I am on? What if I never launch? And the most fearful and insecure thought came last, What if nothing happens from this point on and it was all for nothing. What if this stranger, who felt like an all-knowing god, was wrong. 

I know I am supposed to be cheerful. To match these cheerful and beautiful photos that photographer and visionary, Gemma Totten captured in the sun. But I find myself getting nostalgic, the words of Rilke wash over me again: “Do not watch yourself too closely. Do not draw over rapid conclusions from what is happening to you. Simply let it happen. Otherwise you will too readily find yourself looking on your past, which is of course not uninvolved with everything that is going on in you now” Letters to a Young Poet, Rainer Marie Rilke. Nostalgia is something I drink, like the ever-engulfing waves of the sea it washes over me, drenched in it, I am devoured.


Excerpt from C-Heads Magazine: 

“Inspired by the delicate moments women share with each other–– the tender protection of one another, nurturing a true inner spirit. As the women allowed themselves to be witnessed in their intimate indigo silk undies and feminine ribbons, the images captured more than just physical beauty. It freezes in time the pure innocence and intimacy of women gathering together—a celebration of vulnerability, showing up just as we are, and acknowledging the gifts plant dyes provide –– the indigo plant is a reminder for slowness, patience, and the belief that magic is possible.”

Brown silk woman's panties

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